Sunday, June 8, 2008

Staying here

On my run plod this morning, I was out thinking how nice it was to be able to cross streets willy-nilly. This isn't an early-rising kind of town. As a matter of fact, I didn't use to be an early-rising kind of gal, either. Thank you, children.

At any rate, I turned into my favorite shoreline loop and it hit me -- the water in the bay as still as though it were a glacial lake, and a single least tern, as graceful as a ballerina and as fierce as a hockey player, wheeling over the water. At the top of a loop, wings folded, it plummeted into the water and disappeared.

Two strides later, up it flew to repeat the performance.

And suddenly, I realized, this happens whether I'm here or not. In fact, most of life happens whether I'm there or not.

So, how do I get to really be there in the bits I get to witness? How to appreciate my legs and feet, carrying me through an early summer morning? How to drink in the tousled heads of my kids, wandering in for a morning hug? How to appreciate the parts of my house that never do seem to get cleaned? How to appreciate the endless worried emails from my students?

I have to figure out how to be here. Now, and now, and now forevermore. Or at least as forevermore as I get.


suzee said...

One day at a time...


It was a BEAUTIFUL morning for a run. Egad. Made all the bad bits about the Bay Area seem worthwhile.

allisonmariecat said...

Just keep going. Enjoy yourself. Take a deep breath and stop worrying about other things while you're focused on your current activity. I'm getting a bit better at this, but if you overthink it, you end up with the result you want to avoid--instead of worrying about, say, grading papers, while you should be enjoying morning hugs, you'll be worry about enjoying morning hugs. Same problem, different direction! I find a deep breath helps.

NeedleDancer said...

Ahhh, if only there were something like that in running, much less plodding, distance from my home, I'd be far more likely to get out there.
I have heat, and flat, and heat or... RAIN, and flat. I got corn trying to grow... but not much else to see.
But I too ought to try to be THERE more, where ever I am. Thanks for the reminder. Perhaps I can come out of my head and LIVE for a bit.

amanda j said...

Thank you for provoking thought today!

Janine said...

Perfect! One day I touched a tree and the thought/revelation ran through me that other humans touch trees and feel the bark and smell a tree just as I do (strangely, as if it were a message from God, I understood that a woman in Rwanda and King Louis IV both felt the same thing when they touched a tree). Still water, bird swooping...